Reflections
18 February, 2010 - 3:59 p.m.

I've been here for several years now, and I'm the same as I've always been. Just older. That's sad.

Actually, I'm sad. I'm going through one of those times where nothing seems to be going my way, and I just don't want to put any effort into anything. I have too many of those.

In an attempt to defy this routine, I will look at what I have changed.

I ran my first half marathon in November, and I ran another one in January. I started with Couch to 5K last year about this time. I'm not fast at all, and it took me almost three hours to run 13.1 miles, but I did it. Twice.

I am now the manager at my job. There are definitely downsides to be a manager, but I was dealing with all of those before I had the title, so now I have a title and a paycheck to go with it.

I wrote over 50,000 words on a novel by participating in NaNoWriMo in November. Most of those words happened in the last five days of November. I have to finish it, but I think I have a really good story. It will need a lot of polish once I get it done.

As I write about these accomplishments, the usual chorus of negativity is running through my head. "You've hardly ran since January." "You hate your job." "You haven't touched that novel since November." "You're still fat." "Your house is a big mess." "You're never going to finish anything you really want to do." "You don't have what it takes." Failure, failure, failure.

What happened to me? Through high school and at least the first year of college, I believed in myself. I felt like I could do anything. How did it change so much, and in so little time? It's not like that person is completely gone. That was me. Do I believe I can encourage that part of myself enough to change? Is it truly never too late?

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One Year Ago Today:

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