Being a Good Girl

Little did I know I was going to be put under a spotlight for this job. John is making the move to a permanent employee where he works, and all he had to do was a drug test. I got a packet of papers in the mail yesterday that nearly qualifies as a novel. I have to get a physical and be cleared for any communicable diseases. I have to get a criminal background check and a child abuse history clearance that cost $10 each. I suppose the physical is $10 too when you consider my copayment. I�m shelling out $30 before making a dime and revealing my life history. I�m waiting for them to call and demand I bring Hammy along to orientation, since he�s my firstborn. All this checking sure makes me glad I�m a standup citizen. At least, I haven�t been caught doing anything wrong. Suppose I should stop kicking random children when I go out, and I�ll have to give up my bank-robbing hobby.

It is actually kind of comforting to me to know they check all this stuff. It isn�t foolproof. Like I said, it just means no one�s been caught doing terrible things or contracted some bad disease before working there. Still, it�s better than anywhere else I worked where the only checking they did was trusting you to mark the appropriate box on your application that said you weren�t ever convicted of a felony. I would feel more comfortable as a patient too, though the place doesn�t go advertising the fact they do criminal background checks on their employees. Maybe it�s just that I�ll be working more closely with patients rather than walled in a front desk cubicle. It�s possible receptionists get to be child-abusing felons with TB, but somehow I doubt that.

I�m going to orientation this Monday. I was kind of hoping to delay it another week, and I really did have the option to do so, but then I wouldn�t be able to train with the aide who�s leaving. I think I could really benefit from that, so I�m giving up an extra week of freedom and going in Monday. All my paperwork won�t be done yet, but I have up to 90 days to hide my past if I needed. I have to get all that paperwork filled out and sent before I go though, so I have a lovely day of filling out forms ahead of me. I also have to schedule a physical. I can�t make excuses not to go now. My job depends on it. As much as I tend to sabotage myself, I don�t think I could justify losing a job because I didn�t want to see a doctor. I�ve committed so much as to go in a week earlier than I had to. I think I can manage to make a stupid doctor�s appointment.

I just went to the doctor on Monday for my foot. I went running Saturday morning, and by the time I got home, it hurt like hell again. I decided it was time to get it checked, because I�d waited almost a full two weeks before running again, and my foot felt fine before going. I had to see the nurse practitioner whom I�ve seen before and didn�t mind. She diagnosed the pain as fasciitis, said to take some anti-inflammatory like Advil, and stay off of it for a couple weeks then build back up my mileage. I went home and looked up fasciitis on the web, and it didn�t really sound like my problem to me. I don�t have any heel pain at all which seemed to be the main factor for the condition. I looked at some of the other causes for foot pain, and found that the description for a stress fracture was the definition of what I�ve been feeling. So I think I really have a stress fracture, but I�m hoping it is the fasciitis, because that only takes 2-4 weeks to heal as opposed to 6-8 for a stress fracture. I finally get running again, and something like this happens. My weight is probably the whole cause of the injury, yet it�s my weight that is causing me to do the running in the first place. It�s so unfair.

I�m going bike riding on Saturday instead of running. I can do that since it doesn�t put much stress on my foot, and at least I�ll still be getting some exercise. Plus, I�ll get to dust off my beautiful bike, which hasn�t gotten any use this year. I felt too fat to be on a bike. And I was lazy. I feel pretty guilty that I spent all that money on the bike and only used it for training and the race. I really love mountain biking, so now seems to be like a great time to get back to it.

Riding is also easier on my achy boobs, which have been killing me the past week. I kept telling John that I had to be pregnant, because my boobs hurt so badly, and I went to bed at 9:30 one night. I�ve been going to bed early every day this week, which is something I only do when I�m sick or pregnant. I was eating like a horse though, and I never did that while I was pregnant. At least I didn�t do it until month 5, and then I ate more like an elephant than a horse. John and my appetite were right. I�m not pregnant, just having my period a week early, dammit. Though having an early period is a gazillion times better than being pregnant. I was so nervous about it that I thought maybe a tubal wouldn�t be all that bad. John could get a vasectomy, and I could get a tubal. That�s how much I don�t want to be pregnant ever, ever again.