Tomorrow is John's birthday, and I'm going to make his Grandma's spaghetti recipe for dinner. I haven't made it before, and it's not a terribly hard thing to do, but it definitely has a certain flavor that I want to try to replicate as well as possible. It takes quite a while to make too, because you cook the sauce for hours, so I'll be busy tomorrow. There are about 8 million onions in the recipe too, so I'll look like I've been crying on his birthday, but I'd much rather cry from onions than the reasons I've cried before. Since money is so bad, it's one of the few really thoughtful things I could do that I know he will truly appreciate. I invited his brother, parents, and grandfather for dinner too. The whole family really loves his grandma's spaghetti. Thus far, only his brother has made it. John's wanted me to make it for quite a while, so I hope this will be a welcome surprise.

He knows I'm making dinner, but I imagine he suspects I'll make his other grandma's pierogie recipe, because I've done that before. I haven't made those in a long time, and I've wanted to for a while now, but I can't find my instructions for that. They take quite a bit of work too, and I didn't feel like tackling that. The spaghetti will be more of a surprise.

I'm making a Jell-o cake too. It's one of his favorites. I haven't made him a cake for his birthday for a couple years. In fact, we've had no cake at all, and even though he's not a big cake eater, I think he misses not having something special like that. The thought really does count in cases like this, and I haven't been very thoughtful the past couple years. He doesn't much like reminders that he's getting older, but they come no matter what, so I want to let him know he means a lot to me.

We were supposed to go to counseling tonight, but John doesn't want to go. He had to go to Bedford for work today, and he's going to be tired from driving and being in meetings all day. Neither of us feel like we need it either. We've been talking and getting along well. We seem to be able to work things out much better, so much so that we haven't argued about anything. It's amazing how being so much calmer and more positive helps everything, and that's mostly my own change. He is still quite stressed, mostly due to money and being in a job he hates, but there's not much counseling can do for that.

The best thing for that would be for one of these movie script deals to finally go through. The main project is moving along at a snail's pace, but I try to keep telling myself that at least it's moving. My impatience and desire for John's happiness makes it hard to tolerate at times though. He and BIL have been told so many times that money should come through at such-and-such date, but then it keeps getting pushed back. I know that's the way these things work, especially when you're first trying to break into the business, but it wears on everyone, John especially.

I talked with him about his unhappiness with his job and money. Of course, me getting a job would help with that, and I actually did get called into work at the hospital last Friday. I told my boss I would take any day she needed me, and if she decided she needed a permanent person, I'd be there. Now that the clinic is well-staffed, there isn't any need for me though, so I'm still looking elsewhere.