I feel like I am climbing back out of the pit. It's been a rough few days, but I got through. I didn't cry quite as much, call as many people, or spend so many hours not sleeping. While I felt really stupid, probably moreso than I have in many years, I only felt I wanted to drop dead once. I have to cheer for the small improvements, especially when I don't seem to be doing terribly well.

I went for a follow-up with my family doctor. The nurse was concerned. The doctor was concerned. I've lost 32 pounds. I made sure to wear jeans and a heavier shirt. I almost kept my shoes on to keep the loss since last month from being so bad. I have never in my life done anything like that. I just knew that my weight is now a sign of how sick I am. I'm not thin by any means. I'm still at least 15 pounds overweight, but this can't continue, or I will have a whole host of other problems. I'm getting bloodwork done to see how bad it is so far. The doctor also wants a psychiatrist consult to see about finding better meds and if there is a better direction for therapy. So it's pretty clear I'm a mess, but at least it's not so bad that I have to be admitted.

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One Year Ago Today: