All About the Questions

"...to love the questions themselves." -Rainer Maria Rilke

I suppose my first question is, how? I think in terms of answers and outcomes. I fear and don't like questions without answers, so I don't ask questions.

I once had a pen that said, "Those who do nothing don't make mistakes." I thought it was a hoot and kept that pen for years, long after it ran dry. Little did I know I not only found the saying amusing, I took it to heart. It spoke to my perfectionistic nature. By the time I realized the poison in that idea and finally threw the pen away, it was coursing through my life. I was mired in stagnation for fear of failure. I should have a new pen engraved, "Those who do nothing make the biggest mistake of all."

I've clearly taken on the do nothing attitude with questions too. It could be said that those that don't ask aren't disappointed. But just as doing nothing is a mistake, not asking is a disappointment. When withheld, action and questions eat at the soul. The mistakes and disappointment might not be seen by the world, at least not immediately, but they will affect what matters most. There is no confidence in doing nothing. There are no answers in unasked questions.

Essentially, it's the possible answers that keep the questions from coming. With so many unwanted answers, who can bear to ask? "No." "I don't love you." "I'm afraid your performance isn't up to snuff." "I don't like you." "You don't make the cut." No one likes hearing such things. Fear of them can be paralyzing.

Those able to ask the questions realize the answers aren't always bad. Not asking means not reaping the rewards of the positive answers. And while some answers aren't all that good to hear, they too can give information that direct those strong enough to ask to a better place.

To ask well, there must be patience too. Not all answers come right away, and that's where loving the questions themselves is exercised. It's a love of potential and possibilities, a love of growth. Waiting for answers allows dreams to flourish and plans to be made. It's time to ask more.

Curiousity may have killed the cat because cats can't speak. If Tom had been able to ask what, why, and how, he might be alive today for more exploring. Asking can be protective as well as painful, and sometimes both at once.

It comes to reason the questions are as important as the answers. It's time for me to ask.

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