I'm a sick, sick girl

Thank God above there is not a Dunkin Donuts next door to me. I would be there all the time, and I would overdose on caffeine. Though I will drink other decafs, it's not worth the sacrifice to drink DD decaf. I have to have the real stuff. It's like dope, man. I'm making special trips to get coffee. When I run to the store or do other errands, I go out of my way to get coffee. I think they lace the stuff with crack. I even stopped by to get cups of their coffee on the way to and from the hospital on the days I would go home and shower. If that's not addictive behavior, I don't know what is. Someone should investigate them.

Now, I know Dunkin Donuts has been investigated for other reasons. Well, on one of those television news magazines at least one location was exposed for the employees' disgusting hygiene habits. I was so thoroughly appalled by what I saw, I vowed to never, ever set foot into one of those stores again by the freak chance I would go into that store (because I didn't pay attention to where the store was). It was made easy for me when all the DD I knew in Nebraska closed. But then I moved to Pittsburgh, and then Kay and I met for a visit in Philadelphia at which time she talked me into visiting a DD for the coffee. And the coffee was good. And I was hooked. And Dunkin Donuts was all over Pittsburgh.

I started out like any addict. I drank the coffee once in a while, as a social thing. For a while, I even gave up coffee of all kinds altogether. But then vacation happened, and I was in a house full of coffee junkies, and I couldn't resist the allure of the daily brew. I was back to drinking coffee every day. I don't know what made me start making John go to Dunkin Donuts instead of Sheetz to get my coffee, but it happened. Then my requests (more like demands) became more frequent. Then I started going myself, until I came to the point I've reached today. I even buy ground coffee to have at home, though it's not quite like the stuff they brew there. Plus, when I go there, I can get one of those Q-shaped donuts and soak up all that coffee glory into a fattening delight of coffee goodness. Yes, I am a very sick woman.

Don't try to understand my addiction. It's not normal, and it cannot be explained. It's probably just a major short in my brain from all the stress I've had lately. I know there's better stuff out there, but it's like crack; it's relatively cheap, and it packs a wallop. I may just need a tongue transplant or something. Yeah, that's it. My tongue is diseased and just can't tell anymore. I never did have very discriminating taste. That's painfully obvious now, isn't it?