I think I was in a bad mood last night because I didn't feel well. I couldn't sleep for a long time even though I was pooped. I felt like I was on fire and found I was running a low fever, so I took a bath, read some more, and finally went to sleep. It had to have been after 3. Felt pretty crummy this morning too and slept a tad later than usual. After being up a while though, I wasn't too bad.
I probably would have taken a nap had I not expect the Girl Scout leader to pick up cookie money at 9:30. She never showed up, but I'm glad I had something to make me stay up because I felt OK after that. Not great, but better than a nap would have made me, I believe.
I should keep better track of what Booie has done and when. I'm bad about that, though you'd think I'd be better with all that's happened. No time like the present.
I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I should quit having so many tests done on her. But then she is having problems, and I can't just let that go. She's been dealing with this so much, and she gets embarassed having to wear Pull-Ups to sleepovers and wetting her bed. I promised her I would help her. She cried and cried one day after having another accident, and I promised then that I would do all I can to help her. That's why we're at the specialist's, and that's why she had another test done.
It's hard not to question everything. She's been through a lot in 9 1/2 years, and I hate putting her through any more than necessary. I am so thankful she is doing relatively well, and she was able to recover form ADE without effect. Of course, I worry about her future, both John's and my incomplete family histories, our known family histories riddled with cancer, heart disease, and more, and the possibility of MS. No one can ever know for sure what lies ahead, but I can't quit worrying and just hope for the best, no matter if it doesn't do any good.
I could do myself a big favor by not worrying. That alone could probably account for my blood pressure, but I won't fool myself with that.
I expect the rest of the day will go well. We'll get some news here to help Booie. There are no plans for tonight, so I can take care of the things I didn't do earlier, like the basement and garage.
11:45 p.m. - What Am I Doing?
I really should be going to sleep, but there's nto much use with John still in the bathroom. He always takes so long to get to bed with me anymore. I know he can't usually go to bed early because of his stomach issues, but he's well past his wait most nights when I'm in here. I like some time to write, but it goes past that most nights.
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One Year Ago Today:
