Why does sadness seem to come from your chest? Why does dread feel like being eaten from the inside? Why does depression make me go into hibernation? Why does anger make my head feel like exploding?

I just want to run. The selfishness in me wants to uproot my kids, go back home, and soak him for every penny I can get. Living with him is wearing me out. Every day if full of dread, stress, and trying to ignore the monster in the room.

More thoughts:

• I'll never be able to lose weight as long as John and I have these problems.
  
• I just want to eat.
  
• I don't care anymore.
  
• This is just too hard.

10:13 p.m. - Addressing the Ghosts

This idea I've been carrying in my head for a novel... it eats at me. I've attempted to get it on paper but never liked where it went. I've though of trying to tell the idea to someone who could do it justice, so something comes of it. I think it deserves to be told. But who would want to make a story out of someone else's ideas? And who would really be able to make it all I want it to be? So it's still mine.

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One Year Ago Today: