It's hard just to see and think about the victims of Hurrican Katrina. It's amazing to me how resilient people really are. It's had a big effect on me. I found myself happily vacuuming this afternoon because I have a home to vacuum. My family is safe. I can take a bath and drink water right from the faucet. Water comes from the faucets. I have lights. I'm happy about these little things, that the biggest worry in my little life is how I'm going to keep myself from inhaling the entire contents of the kitchen tonight. And I'm still aching from strength training Monday.

John already donated money in his friend's name. I'm glad we had the money to make a good donation. At least we've done something. I still would like to do more, but I'm not sure what at this time. And I'm so worn out and achy that I'll return to my own life for a while.

John had a football draft after work and went to band practice right afterward, so I've really been on my own tonight. I don't mind when he's gone in the evening once in a while, but I never like when I only see him for a few minutes before he leaves and a few more before we go to sleep. It's not real time together, almost like not seeing each other at all. If I actually fall asleep before he gets home, which is possible tonight, that's even less time. We've been doing better, and I am so much happier that I miss him more too.

Being lonely always makes me want to eat, as does being tired, and aching. It's no wonder I am obsessing over food. The one challenge I joined has weigh-in tomorrow too, and I'm fretting over that as well, which should keep me in line but actually makes me want to eat even more. I refuse to allow myself anything else today as it hasn't been the best with the pizza and cookie and Starburts and caramel and oatmeal creme pie. I think that covers it. There is no way I'll get below John eating like that.

The state of the kitchen and what we have on hand is not conducive to healthy eating right now. I didn't go to the grocery store again today for lots of not-so-good reasons and one OK reason, becing I'm moving like a grandma. I am determined to go tomorrow. I already straightened up the kitchen some too. Tomorrow will be a better day.

There is some laundry waiting that must get done. I have to read to Booie too. Then I think I'll have some herbal tea, a bath, and a book.

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One Year Ago Today: