Just Admit It

My mouse pad is wounded. There is a gash in the gel wrist rest that lets the ooey gooey center stick to my hand if I manage to get it on the right end. I suppose it's time for a replacement. Will I get another with the mushy gel pillow on it? I have yet to decide. On one hand, I think it would feel weird if I didn't have it. On the other, I don't know that the thing helps me that much. Let's think back�

[imagine cloudy frame and soft focus]

I'm sitting at my computer, typing and mousing away. I'm surfing the web like the Internet bum that I am. My hand is on the mouse, and the heel of my hand rests on the table. Days pass, and I notice a bruised feeling in that bony area where the wrist meets the hand. Hurts to type. Hurts to waste time browsing the web. Hurts all the time. Ow. Ow. Ow.

[return to normal view]

That's why I bought a gel pad! Ok, that solves it. I have to buy another one. Flashbacks aren't always bad.

Now I want a cookie.

That is why I don't make or buy cookies anymore. I eat them. I eat them until they are gone. I eat them for breakfast. I eat them for lunch. I snack on them in between meals. Cookies are my downfall. I am not allowed to have cookies here. Cookies and I have an abusive relationship. There is no control, only avoidance. Cookies are like a toxic friendship. I just can't be around cookies anymore. My thighs will thank me for it.

I would save myself a lot of work if I just owned up to the fact I'm a slob. I'm trying to do the we're-having-guests-tonight cleaning frenzy, but the frenzy part isn't working out so well. I'm feeling in more of a leisure cleaning mood, but that's not going to cut it. The place needs to be clean by eight. It's frenzy of failure.

The most discouraging thing about it is I've been doing so well all week. Laundry is getting done. Windows that haven't been cleaned in months are getting washed. Even the hood of my stove got clean. And the bathroom? Spotless. But it's the cluttery crap laying all over every horizontal surface that's the problem. I want to just throw it all in a box and add it to the mess downstairs, so I don't have to look at it anymore. In fact, I just might do that.

For now, I'm going to sit. Sitting is exactly what I need at this moment.