Overreacting

It's been a rough day. I didn't get to sleep late, but that wasn't a big deal. It was one of those minor disappointments you say, "Oh well," about. It was the call we got in the late morning that was the big rotten apple of the day.

John's dad went to the hospital for heart trouble. We thought it was a heart attack as we drove to the hospital, but that doesn't seem to be what it was. His heart rate was severely elevated and unsteady. He has yet to be diagnosed with anything, even now. He was back to his old self by the time we saw him. He didn't want to miss dinner reservations or seeing John's band play later tonight. Both events were canceled, and he is sitting in a hospital room watching on our laptop one of the DVDs we rented for him.

That whole thing got me out of the bridal shower I didn't want to attend because I'm feeling fat. I should feel fat, because I am fat, but I'm particularly down about it today. It's really bad when I don't want to go places and nothing seems to fit, and I end up wearing elastic waistbands. I would have much rather dealt with feeling fat and going to a room full of people than going to a hospital to see my father-in-law.

The rest of the day was odd and touchy too. Little things upset me way too much, like when Booie knocked over my drink and spilled it all over the ground. I know I'm avoiding dealing with how I feel. I have been trying to stay strong for John and not be my usual weepy, useless self. My first instinct when we got the call was to start crying, but I choked it back and drove. Though John's dad seems ok now, I don't know that I'm ok about it yet.