Back Pain and Bullshit
11 November, 2000 - 11:44 AM

Ouch

My back hurts. Bad. It's better than yesterday, which is why I can sit here and write, but that's not much of an improvement. I've never had horrible back troubles. That was always something other people got. I would have twinges here and there or soreness, but never incapacitation. Until I sneezed Thursday night after just sitting down to write my journal entry, and owie, owie, owie! I couldn't move. Everything hurt, even just sitting there. J tried to help, but he just made things worse. Now I know what people mean when they say they threw their backs out. This sucks.

I was on the couch most of the day yesterday. I read it's good to get up and move around with back pain, but getting up was the big problem. Getting up was agonizing. Standing hurt. Sitting hurt. I won't even talk about the misery that involved sitting on the toilet. I think I dehydrated myself yesterday from not drinking for fear I might have pee. I lay on a heat pad all morning and afternoon. J stayed home from work with his strep infected self and threw my heat pad in the microwave every so often and took care of the dog and kids and me.

I had a little more mobility by evening and took the dog for a walk, thinking walking might help settle things back into place. It didn't hurt, but it didn't work the magic I was hoping it would. Neither did sneezing again about five or six times since the first, damaging sneeze. I guess this is one of those matter-of-time things. Of course, I will probably feel fantastic by the time my doctor's appointment on Monday morning rolls around. I hurt so badly, I actually called a doctor. That's something.

orchestrate robust content

That's one of the first, if not the first, line I got from the web economy bullshit generator. Think it's a personal message? The dumbest things can fascinate me for hours. These are some of my favorites.

iterate granular eyeballs - What? I liked this line, but it's rather senseless. I suppose that's the point of the whole thing.

visualize synergistic eyeballs - I just love how "visualize" and "eyeballs" ended up in the same line.

cultivate strategic experiences - This one speaks to the loser-hermit in me.

visualize bricks-and-clicks relationships - That just makes me snicker.

incentivize sticky mindshare - Like sticky mindshare isn't incentive in itself.

transform frictionless content - Because content without friction is just no fun.

expedite viral solutions - Yeah, so I don't get sick so much.

extend bleeding-edge portals - Bleeding-edge portals don't sound good in the first place. Extending them sounds worse. Just say no.

reintermediate sexy metrics - You only think you know how long it is.

enable plug-and-play systems - Yes! Oh wait. That doesn't mean what I think it does, does it. Damn.


Previous|Next

---------------------------------------------

One Year Ago Today:

|

< previous | next >