I could have written earlier, but I didn't. Lots of distraction--various important and unimportant matters. All those things that get brushed aside while sick and those that only serve to waylay my time and attention. But at least I'm done wallowing in the misery of illness and back to the usual procrastination and avoidance. Except it's not all that usual, because I have kept my routines fairly well, attended to the necessary cookie mom duties, and got right back to exercising. Plus, I believe I've done a might fine job of eating better than I was; even while sick and during PMS week, no less. What is usual are my self-criticisms a-plenty it seems.
It's because I went back to bed this morning. I didn't get up until noon. Then I ate instead of going to get my blood drawn, making it two full weeks since seeing the doctor when I'll be able to go on Monday. So I've been mentally lashing myself the remainder of the day for that and not getting some things in the mail that are overdue, more overdue, and even more overdue (think Christmas package). Those things are causing more guilt than my accomplishments cause joy, so I end up feeling low, evne though there's not a thing to be done about any of it now.
I am currently debating with myself about getting out of bed to go get the calcium I forgot to take today. Fat me is making every excuse in the book while skinny me is adeptly shooting them down. Since it appears skinny me has won, I believe I'll close for tonight and go get the calcium. Hope it doesn't keep me up any later than the combination of my owlishness and an all-morning nap.
12:08 p.m. - Moving a Mountain
Today is cleaning day in the basement to prepare for our fancy, new treadmill. Plus it needs it. Badly. I'm feeling overwhelmed before we even begin. It's a scary mess. Not as bad as it was when I first made a plan to clean down there. Most of that is now in the garage, which also needs cleaned. So really, I have more to do than when I first started on the basement. This should be loads of fun.
Everyone is in a pretty crappy mood. Hammy was fussing about a game. Booie is upset because she didn't take her Tamagotchi out of her jeans pocket, and it got washed. John has to actually do something on the weekend. And I have to deal with them all. I was being nice and unloaded the dishwasher and started reloading it until I was struck with the stench of nested cups long neglected in the sink. I told John I wasn't doing anymore and he needed to finish. It smells like death in there, but he doesn't do anything about it because he's doing such important stuff on the computer, so important that our noon start time for cleaning, which he set, was pushed to 12:30. And he didn't even thank me for what I did do for him. So I'm probably in the most foul mood of all. Like that's anything new.
I have to address this, or I'll end up being edgy all day. Nobody wants to hear me yell all afternoon, and it's unproductive for everyone. I'm not sure how to approach it though without making John defensive. I don't even know that there is a way to approach it without making John defensive. I know I'm getting angrier by the minute, listening to his music as he does his stupid project. And I anticipate he won't be coming in here at 12:30 to say, "Let's get to work," so I'm angry for things that haven't even happened yet. Except that it is now 12:30. May as well address this myself.
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One Year Ago Today:
