This and the next few entries are transposed from my paper journal I've been keeping while at the hospital. They were written as things happened. It's been a bumpy ride. If I only knew then what I know now.

1:00 PM - Still Here

Well, yesterday was a tough one. Emotions hit me hard while visiting home. Making phone calls and being away from the constant vigilance of the hospital brought forth all the feelings of sadness, helplessness and overwhelm that have been put aside for the sake of my daughter.

2:08 PM - Some News

The doctors from Nephrology stopped by and said Booie does have post-streptococcyl nephritis. That means some strep infection (not this last one) did something to her kidneys. I don't know how she could have had strep without us knowing unless she got it from an infected cut. She did have a sore on her hand that got pus-y, but we took care of it, and it got better. Who knows?

There's really no treatment they need to do at this point. She needs to get rechecked in their clinic in six to eight weeks to make sure nothing more has happened. It's good to know, but they don't think this is the cause of her pain.

After a very hopeful morning of doctors saying this was probably just a freak autoimmune reaction, I'm more worried by a visit from the pediatric specialist who said yesterday's spinal tap was not normal. We assumed it was when we were told she did not have spinal meningitis. We were wrong. Another lesson in the error of making assumptions.

Booie was supposed to have an abdominal CT last night. We had to fight with her for an hour and a half to get her to drink the solution. She was in an award-winning foul mood anyway. The spinal tap was a rough time, so I don't blame her for not wanting anything else done. But we had to do it or have a tube put in her nose to give it to her. She finally gave in and drank all four little cups of the stuff mixed with juice. When we got to CT and they found out she's already been sedated that day (And quite heavily too. She's resistant like her mommy, unfortunately.), they said they couldn't do it. She would have to be sedated again, and it just wasn't safe, considering she had to have three of one type of sedative and four of another to finally make her sleepy the last time. All that struggle to make her drink for nothing.

They were going to do it again today, but the doctor canceled it after talking to me about the spinal tap results and telling me he preferred an MRI. It didn't happen before Booie unwillingly drank two more cups of the drink for her CT. Poor girl. At least she didn't drink all four again.

9:46 PM - Like a Tennis Match, Only Scary

So I was saying, the specialist suggested an MRI, since it would be a better indicator of what's going on with her spine. It could show any masses, tumors, abscesses, cysts or other words that sound horrible. Of course that sent me into a whole new set of worries.

Though she didn't seem to need more or stronger pain medication, she wasn't happy or responsive at all. She was very sleepy and quiet most of the day. That only added to my fears.