Owie, Owie, Owie

First, Billy Blanks jumped right out of the TV and did a series of upper cuts in my abs. He told me I need a lot more work and leapt back into the TV. I hope he never, ever does that again, because my abs were so sore after that workout, I thought I wouldn�t be able to move for a very long time. But move I did when I did my strength routine. I abused my calves most of all by raising all my tonnage on the very tips of my toes, one leg at a time. And for good measure, I attacked my abs again. By the next morning, I was still feeling the effects of Billy�s gut-punching as well as the new feeling of my calves being wrenched with every step I took. So what do I do? Work out again, of course!

Yesterday, I let Billy abuse me again while telling me how strong my will was, then I went running for 20 minutes. By late afternoon, it wasn�t just my calves that hurt but every single muscle fiber in my legs. And if you thought my abs were feeling ok by that time, you�re wrong. They still hurt enough that I could not sit upright from a lying position. I had to first roll onto my side to get up. I was a pathetic, aching, whiny baby who was stretching at every opportunity to try and relieve the soreness for a few precious seconds.

As I soaked in a hot bath last night, John asked me if I planned on working out again today. I gave an emphatic �no!� But I came to find out upon logging onto Asimba that yes, I am working out today. I have an �easy� 32 (where the hell did they come up with 32?) minute run and a strength workout. Maybe this is the price I pay for being so bad with my eating. I�m in exercise hell.

I think an easy run might just warm me up enough to ease some of this soreness. It�s not a bad sore. It�s the kind of sore you get when you know you are really out of shape, and you have a good workout. My muscles are getting stronger. So really, I hate it, but I don�t. I don�t like to say no pain, no gain, because I don�t believe you have to hurt to improve. I do believe that this kind of ache is telling me I�m pushing it enough to improve more quickly than if I were feeling just fine and dandy today. I don�t have time to get in shape slowly. I have a deadline, so I will welcome the soreness but do what I can to relieve it too.

My big hurdle now, as always, is conquering my poor eating habits. It becomes even more challenging to do so when I�m all achy. I turn into a big baby, and I�m sure you can guess exactly how I take care of that. I eat. What I really want to do is go buy a cartful of Easter candy (in particular Brach�s chocolate covered marshmallow bunnies and Snickers eggs, but most candy will do) and end up surrounded by piles of wrappers, licking the last remnants of chocolate from my fingers. But I resist, because I gave that stuff up for Lent, which I�m regretting something fierce right about now. I have myself in a tizzy over whether I�m going to be able to find the candy I must have as Easter draws near. I have this internal struggle going on. One side tells me to buy the candy now and freeze it or have John hide it, so I can have a lesser version of my candy wrapper dream on Easter morning, while the other side says I will find that candy or break teeth eating frozen Snickers eggs. So far, the broken teeth argument is winning out, which means there will probably be no bunnies in my future, because they always sell out well before Easter. I keep telling myself it�s for a good cause, but part of me feels awfully sad that my once-a-year treat will not materialize. I know it�s not good to deprive myself, so I�m trying to figure out a way to get the goods without ruining my oath not to eat candy. Maybe my mom will bring me some bunnies. I can�t raid her house for candy when she lives almost 2000 miles away. Or I can ask the Easter bunny. I don�t even know where he lives! Heh.

Other than the candy cravings, I am getting better with the rest of my diet. I am eating less, but I�m still not following my nutrition plan. It�s been really difficult when we go out to eat, and I refuse to be the one eating my own food at home while everyone else munches down on food not prepared by me. I have made better choices though and even turned down dessert last night when even John, who is devoid of any hint of a sweet tooth, had dessert. That was one of the few times I felt like I wasn�t missing something by turning down the sweets, so I am making progress. It�s just slow progress.

That makes it all the more important to do the exercise faithfully and push it as much as I can. I have to compensate for not doing as well in the nutritional aspect of my plan. I better get out there while I have myself convinced of this.