I am very happy about my weigh-in. Now if I can keep up a one to two pound loss each week, I'll be right on target. I was giving myself a half pound each week, but I can do better than that now that my eating is under control. I think I can aim higher now.
I joined a challenge on iShape. this is my second online challenge now. I'm also doing a challenge headed by the comoderator of my local weight loss group. Our team is ahead so far. Yay! That challenge is just about the weight, but the iShape one is about eating, cardio, and strength. It goes for 42 days and is a vitual tour of Europe. I dropped out of the challenge like this I joined at the beginning of summer. I intend to complete this one. Here is what I said I'd do:
30/42 CE - stay within iShape calories
30/42 CS - at least 30 minutes 5x/week
18/42 SS - iShape suggestions
CE is clean eating. CS is cardio sessions. SS is strength sessions. I like that this isn't dependent on weight or anything not completely within control. It's 100% possible to reach all the goals. I think I'll even surpass these.
6:20 p.m.
I need a shower, but first I need to vent. He's been cold, tired, and indifferent all day. Now he's lying down because he doesn't feel good. He slept until at least eleven. I didn't get him up, and I made him breakfast when he did. I haven't been bitchy. I haven't held a grudge. I think I've been pretty nice and pleasant. He's hardly looked at me. I've had far less sleep than he has, and I was the one who was hurt in the first place. Should I have moped all day too?
Nothing would have mattered. He was going to be moody and sulky today no matter what I did.
I added another minute to my tread time this week. I also did ten minutes at 3.8 miles per hour and will increase by five minutes each day this week. I did find today, though I felt like a nap instead. My heart rate was fine too, despite being elevated this morning. The treadmill went easy on me with the random setting too.
I better wash off. I sweat way too much.
6:58 p.m.
He said yesterday that he and I could go out today. I wasn't really excited about a Sunday "date", so of course, he hasn't thought about it again. Because he couldn't go ahead and take me out on good faith and then take me out for real. Next weekend is out since I'm training Friday evening, and he has his reunion Saturday evening. Who knows after that?
I get the feeling he would like me better if he lived my himself somewhere. That's not acceptable to me though. I love to torture myself, I guess.
I'm so so sad. Maybe he was right that I just have to accept who he is.
He asked if we could talk today. He hasn't. And he doesn't feel good, so he won't. Even though I don't want to have to mention it, I will. It's the perfect opportunity with the kids downstairs and not late. Here goes...
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One Year Ago Today:
