Haven't Rambled in a While
19 February, 2002 - 4:10 p.m.

Haven't Rambled in a While

I didn't sleep the best last night, which is actually the exception rather than the rule ever since I quit drinking caffeine and got past withdrawal. Even when I was in all that emotional turmoil, I was still sleeping well once I finally got to sleep. We stayed up many long nights discussing things. I think I'm past that now and really the only things that need resolved are within me, not that John better even think about discontinuing the butt-kissing he's been doing!

I had big plans for the day. I needed to wash all of Booie's bedding, because she's been on a bed-wetting marathon the past week and a half. I have tons and tons of sets of sheets and comforters for her, but she's gone through all of them. There's the usual laundry to do as well. I still don't know how in the world my brother and sister-in-law manage to keep up their laundry with six kids and themselves. I can't manage a household of four. Yet another reason two kids is more than enough for me.

I also planned to dye my hair today. I put it off all weekend long. Mostly the timing just didn't work out, but I also dragged my feet about it. It's such a chore, and I really don't enjoy doing it at all. Doing it at home is better than the salon though, because I get to do things while my head is a big goopy mess rather than read stupid magazines. Plus it's cheaper, and since I'm all about cheapness, that's a good thing.

Other home activities included straightening up the house, since it's really taken a backseat to my emotional ride. We're losing sight of the top of the coffee and dining room tables again.

Once I made a dent in those things, I planned on going to the store. Not only do we need a few food-type items, but we also need a big wrench, some plumber's tape and plumber's putty so we can install the bathroom faucet we bought over the weekend. I thought I'd make a detour to the mall and see about getting some jeans, since I have only one pair of blue jeans now that I blew out the inseam of my other pair. (Damn fat thighs!)

I got up as usual at 7:30 and got Booie off to school, but I didn't start working. I goofed off on the computer forever, surfing the web and making sure I finally answered all my email. I ate (or drank is more like it) some breakfast too, but that doesn't really count as doing anything. I sat on my butt in my sweatpants until almost noon. Then I finally decided I better get moving, or I wouldn't be able to get much of anything done, much less all I wanted to get done.

You can see my messy table in the background tooI started with the hair dye. I bought a new shade, and I was quite excited to see what it looked like. It's darker red than before. In fact, it doesn't really even look like a color that anyone has in real life, but I liked it. Between doing the dye and then washing it all out, I took about an hour and a half before I even started styling my hair. Luckily, I didn't have the usual troubles with styling, and it all worked out quite nicely. In fact, I really love the new color. It's about time for a trim on the hair though.

When I finally looked presentable, it was well after 1:00. That didn't leave a lot of time to do all the shopping I wanted to do, so I decided just to shop for jeans. Big mistake! After throwing a load of laundry in the washer, I went out the door. I felt good with my pretty new hair and figured it would be as good a time as any to visit the mall's many torture chamber (aka fitting rooms).

I went from store to store, never needing the same size twice. One pair was too snug in the thighs. The other left the notorious gap in the back. The pockets on that pair made my ass look huge while the pockets on those other ones added a couple inches on my already expansive hips. I even dared one of those really low cut waist pairs but only felt like I would fit right in going to buy plumbing supplies later. I came out of the fitting room in Old Navy and handed the attendant all the pants I tried on. "None of those worked out for you, huh?" she asked. "No, I'm just too weird of a shape." I stunned her into silence with that comment.

So I didn't buy any jeans. I did decide that I need to build a fitting room in my house. It should be right next to the kitchen too. At least I could have those dreadful mirrors and place them under a fluorescent light. Then every time I wanted to eat, I would see myself as I do when go to try on clothes. Nothing inspires me to lose weight more than that.

By the time I gave up in frustration, I had to be home for Hammy to get home from school, but not without stopping by Dunkin Donuts for some consolation decaf (which is nowhere near as good as regular, but I'm being good) and coffee cake muffin. Since then, I changed loads of laundry and listened to him jabber endlessly about his field trip. Now he's outside playing with friends (it's super-nice out today), and I'm still doing laundry and wasting more time on the computer. I don't think I'll make it back to the store today. I have to pick up Booie from Brownies at 4:45, do the after school routine with her, do more laundry, maybe do some of that picking up around here and finally go to counseling.

The bad thing is, I often waste whole days like this. I don't get going until noon, and by then, there's not much time left for errands and such. I might be getting up better and more regularly, but I'm sure not doing anything with it. I suppose it's just a matter of settling into some sort of routine. I really ought to try.

The good thing is, I'm feeling much better. Despite shopping for jeans and failing miserably, I still feel pretty good about myself, which is more than I can say for the past week.


Decluttering:

Someone recommended I wait for the moon to start waning again (it's waxing now), so I'm going to try that.


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One year ago
Priorities, Schmiorities - It's really quite remarkable how often I'm talking about the same thing on the same day of the year.

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One Year Ago Today:

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