Sleep, sleep, sleep
21 October, 2003 - 8:10 a.m.

Well, I can't even manage to update once a week. At least this time it's not because I'm being a lazy bum. I've been working my ass off. Most days I come home and collapse. I make up for all the sleep I don't seem to be getting on my day off on Thursday as well as trying to get laundry and shopping done. Weekends are spent with the family. There simply is no time. I'm authorized to work 24 hours a week. When I got my first paycheck, I had worked 33 hours a week. I put in more than eight hours most Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and then I am working three to six hours on Tuesday.

I'm sure everyone that works full time wants to laugh at me, but when I say I work during that time, I mean work. I don't get breaks. I don't have much of a lunch. I am running nonstop from the time I go in to the time I leave. I earn every little penny I make. When I did work full time, it was nothing like this. I probably do twice as much work now. Even waiting tables wasn't this tough. I'm so stressed that I'm not sleeping well, which doesn't help a bit. The energy I do have goes to the kids who aren't too happy with how much I'm working either.

This weekend, I told John I should learn how to do tarot readings better and become a professional. To my surprise, he thought that was a great idea. I was just joking around, and he came back with the thought I would make a lot of money doing that. I see tarot cards all over the place now whereas I had a hard time finding mine and had to pay a fortune for them. I do think it's becoming popular, but I don't know that a job in it is for me. My parents might disown me over such a thing.

School is looking much more tempting now that I'm working like a dog. Not that school would change having to work like a dog. I'd just be doing it for grades instead of for pay. I do know I don't want to be a lowly tech forever.


I've been getting really tired lately, like I can't ever get enough sleep. I don't know if it's depression or something else.

I should be getting medication for the depression this week. Between me not pushing and my therapist not staying on top of it, I haven't went for my med check yet. But I should do that this Thursday. I don't feel so sad the past week, but I know that changes regularly.

The tiredness has been bothering me for three to four weeks now, which happens to coincide with my job. John tells me I just have to adjust, but I have a hard time thinking it's taking me over a month to adjust. I usually end up sleeping several hours during the day on my days off. Last weekend, I went to bed before ten one night. I had today off, which is the first Tuesday off since I started. I'm technically only working Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but she needs me Tuesdays, and I told her I'd do it. I greatly regret it now, but when I said yes, I didn't think it would wear me down so badly.

Anyway, it took me seven hours to write this entry because I had to go take a nap a couple times in the process. All I do lately is complain about how tired I am and how much I'm working. That's my entire life, so it's not so bad I'm not writing about it anyway.

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One Year Ago Today:
Nothing

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