Double Ones for Hammy Whammy

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself this morning when I woke up with a scratchy throat and stuffy head and couldn't seem to get out of bed. I made Booie eggs for breakfast like she asked, because she wasn't feeling so well herself. It was looking to be a rotten day. Then I got a call from Hammy. I intended to call him after I finished eating, but he got to it first. It was instant cheer to hear his voice. I haven't talked to him since the 19th, and I have been missing him greatly.

He seems to be having a good time. I asked if he was ready to come home, even though it was a selfish question. He answered honestly, saying sometimes he really wants to come home and other times he doesn't think about it. I was just happy to hear he isn't ready to move away from me to live out there.

I don't miss him constantly either. During the day, he would play outside with his friends and keep himself busy. I saw him go in and out, fed him meals, and kept him in line, but we didn't interact a whole lot. It's the evenings and nights that accentuate his absence. His door stands open and dark. His room is quiet. He just isn't here, and I think about him a lot then.

I imagine I'll be thinking about him all day today. He's my first baby, and he's eleven now. I can't dote on him, make him a special breakfast, take him out to his favorite place for dinner, surprise him with a table full of presents, or have him help me make a cake. At least I can't do that today� on his day. Those things will have to wait.

This is the first time he's been away from me on his birthday. I've had him for every major holiday and every birthday until now. I don't like sharing, but I know I have to. He's not just mine, and he needs to share his life with his other family as much as he needs to share it with me. So even though I want to hold onto him like a two-year-old that thinks everything is hers, I have to let him go. Beyond my selfishness, I love him. I love him, and I want him to be happy. He will be happy today without me, and I can make another day special for us.