Not in Fifteen Years
I didn't go to my ten-year high school reunion. I was actually living in the very house in which I lived when I attended high school but sans parents. My parents had moved to Colorado and allowed us to live in their home in Nebraska, so even though I wasn't living with my parents, it looked like I did when I got a call from the people looking for the 1987 alumni. I didn't really care, but it was humorous.
I fully intended to attend my ten-year reunion. I filled out the paperwork. I told John about it. I worried about how I looked and how much I weighed. But when the time came to send in the registration and fee, we didn't have the money. I could have registered later allowing me time to save the money to do so, but missing the initial deadline kind of burst my balloon, and I didn't want to go anymore. I started thinking about all the reasons I didn't want to go instead of all the reasons I did, and it was the negative that took over.
Many of the reasons I didn't want to go were fair enough. I hadn't kept in contact with anyone in high school and didn't feel particularly driven to go see the people with whom I was friends at that time. They didn't keep in contact with me, and remembering my participation in three-person friendships, it's no wonder. Both my best high school friends kept in touch with each other after school and both went to the ten-year reunion. Many of my other friends in school were older or younger than I, so my reunion didn't do much to help me see them. Along with the stupid worries of my appearance and additional thirty pounds, I didn't feel like I was missing much.
Now that I received the initial email invitation for our fifteen-year reunion, I'm wondering about all these things again. I went and looked at the pictures of the previous reunion, and everyone looks so great. I know my negative feelings about myself shouldn't keep me from going, but those combined with the fact I'm now 1000 miles away and have no real need to see any of those people make me even less inclined to go. In ways I can't seem to put a finger on, I really want to go back, but the worries about spending money for a trip back to be lonely and miserable are outweighing those elusive reasons right now.
For most people, reunions are a way to keep in touch with people and revisit your past or a way to show everyone you're better than they thought you would be. That's my impression anyway. Of course, I wouldn't know more than I've been told by Kay or learned from movies. While Kay is a reliable source of information, she also kept closer ties to her high school friends and acquaintances. I don't have anything to go show off at a reunion, and I wouldn't feel like that's a good reason to go anyway. So I'm back to that vision of sitting by myself at a table while everyone around me chatters and reminisces. That doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun.
The final strike against going is my sister's graduation. I plan to attend that at the beginning of June, which will cost me a plane ticket and the hassle of finding someone to watch the kids while I'm gone. They won't be able to miss their last week of school, especially after missing the week we always take our beach vacation. The reunion is at the end of June, so either I fly out myself again and find another sitter, or I take the kids with me, costing more and causing me to have to find a sitter for them during the reunion activities. I could probably come up with another hundred problems if I sat here long enough.
I've sat here long enough already though, and I have a letter to write, so we can get a mortgage. That seems a little more important than figuring out whether to subject myself to high school again.
"Go to your reunion, so you can talk about the cool kids instead of your boring self"
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One Year Ago Today:
