It's Not Just a Goal; It's an Investment

I plopped down my $80 for the adventure race in October. That makes it more real than anything before. Barring serious illness or injury, I have a commitment to compete in this race. I didn't just say I would now; I paid. And now, I'm more nervous than ever.

I'm seeing progress, but my mountain biking skills aren't exactly what I hoped they would be. It's been discouraging to go out there and not have an ounce of natural ability on the bike. I'm usually pretty good at just about any athletic activity I try. I rode a bike like it was an appendage when I was a kid, but that doesn't compare to the things I have to do while riding a trail. My arm strength needs built up even more than it already is to help me maintain control of the steering. My legs need more strength to pump myself up those hills. My confidence needs more strength to keep me from riding the brake like a grandmother in rush hour traffic. I thought my balance would be pretty good considering my ability to do some of the most challenging kicks in Tae-bo, but it seems that kind of balance and bike kind of balance aren't quite the same thing. I think the worst thing is I get totally embarrassed to go out on those trails and have more experienced riders see me struggling and falling and getting scraped up. I'm not used to being so clumsy with these kinds of things, and I'm not handling it well.

Of course, both my partners are primarily mountain bikers, so I'm going to be like swimming with concrete shoes for them. I intend to focus on this weakness more fully, regardless of the embarrassment and physical beating I take. I can't walk the whole mountain biking leg of the race, and I can't expect those guys to tow me the whole time either. I did do some web research and found some skill-building exercises I can do that might help me with the balance and ability to do some things that will make it easier for me to avoid obstacles on the trail. If nothing else, those guys are going to have to wait for me while I get off my bike and walk up or down the hills. B (he really goes by B) seemed to understand when I mentioned my challenges and even said there will be technical parts I will probably have to walk. Talk about wiping the sweat off my brow! Still, I don't want to be a total lead weight.

I'm trying to really build my strengths, since mountain biking seems to be my weakness. I'm running almost five miles now, which is more than I've ever done. I'm making better time too. B said running would probably be his weak point, so I'm hoping I can provide a little ray of light there. I don't want to be the weak one on everything. I realize men have a natural advantage in most of these things, but it's not like I'm racing with world-class athletes on my team either. Sure, they are both physical therapists and in much better shape than I am, but I don't have to be the couch-potato housewife of the team.

With all these worries, I'm still not training each and every day I have assignments. I was doing really well while away in Colorado and Nebraska, and then I came home and bummed around for way too long. I think I'm back at it now. I just needed something to jump-start me, and running with my partner and paying that money seemed to do it. Beginning August 12th, I'm bumping up my training schedule a notch, so I really have to stick to my current program to get ready for that.

Sometimes I still can't believe I'm doing this. I may never run a big expedition race, but it's almost impossible to believe I'm running any kind of race at all. I've wanted to do something like this for at least three years now, and now I'm really going to do it. I've found all kinds of neat activities in the process, and even if I never do another race like this again (though I think I'll be hooked), there will be lots of fun things to keep me busy and active. I've found all kinds of things I want to do from white water rafting to riding the bike trail to Washington D.C. This race was exactly the kick in the pants I needed to get me back to what I love.

I really need to get my exercise in before 9:00 at night from now on. It's better than not doing it at all, but it really sucks to be all sweaty and gross at 11:00 at night and have to take a shower so late. And after sitting at the computer for an hour, it's even later before I finally crawl into bed. Ugh.