X called during the day yesterday while we were out and left a message for me to call him on his cell phone. He spoke in his this-is-important voice (like that always means it's important-ha!), so I called him back right away. Since Hammy is leaving July 2nd, it was possible there was an issue needing prompt discussion. This was not the case.

X asked, "Is Hammy mad at me?"

"No. Why?" I figured it was the adoption subject getting stirred up again.

"Because he didn't call me Sunday, even though he said he would."

X's feelings were hurt. I knew it was a big deal when X called Monday. I was going to remind Hammy to call X a little later that evening, but X, being his usual dramatic, impatient self, called first. I told Hammy to tell him he was going to call later. I guess when X asked why Hammy didn't call Sunday, Ham told him he was busy, to which X said, "I guess he was too busy to talk to his dad for two minutes."

Grow up!

Not only was he enormously immature about a missed phone call, but he's done the very same thing to Ham countless times. Who is the adult? It seems it was supposed to be Hammy. Thank God X chose to call me instead of Hammy. It was the only sensible thing he did.

Everything with X that has the potential to become an ordeal will become one. If there is drama to be made, he will make it. A guilt trip to be lain, he will lay it. I know it's part of the disorder, but that doesn't make it any easier. And there is no explaining that to Ham.

That's the thing I hate most about X and his untreated personality disorder--Hammy has to deal with it without really knowing what it is or that it even exists. Is it my place to tell him? X won't, even in the rare instances he believes he has anything wrong, which always conveniently happens when it plays into some pity party or guilt trip. Even if Hammy knew, I don't know that it helps him in any way. I really need professional advice on that one.

I didn't voice any of my grievances with X at the time, other than saying he didn't give Ham a chance to call him. I simply told him Ham wasn't mad at all and backed up that he was busy Sunday. I think I had to repeat myself three or four times--enough to get me off the phone with drama boy. I could tell he wasn't satisfied. But neither am I. I wish I would have reamed him, told him paybacks are a bitch. I wish I would have told him to imagine how many times he let his son down the same way over the past thirteen years. I wish I would have told him to act like an adult. Do I think it would have done any good? Only to let me know the point was made, even if it falls on deaf ears.

I've kept my mouth shut a lot, so doing it again riles me up. I want to say all those things about responsibility with rights, truly supporting his son, and treating his kid like a kid. I thought about sending an email so many times, but I just don't know that it's worth it. It may just be best to do what I've done and let it go. I have to remember X isn't the most rational person, so treating him as one isn't going to be very fruitful.

---------------------------------------------

One Year Ago Today: