I found Grandma's love for the Texas Ranger is being shadowed by that Raymond guy. I guess everybody really does love Raymond. Of course, you would have to watch him, which I haven't done. But I better figure out when that show is on. I hear calling Grandma during that time is quite the faux pas. It would be one of the only times she might be quick to end a call. That would be good to know if I were still living nearby and talking with her frequently.

Some of Grandma's conversations can be quiet amusing and interesting. I have grown to appreciate when she recounts her memories. I always like hearing news of other family members too. I can even find some amusement in little bits of gossip and stories of her friends and other people I really don't know. But when she gets going about what she's been eating, when she's been sleeping and who's called her, I can't help but zone out. The mundane details of her life are not that interesting to me, even when I tell myself I'll miss them when she's gone. It's not that I'm thinking about all I could be doing besides listening to her. It's that there are much better things with which to fill the silence.

Grandma is chock full of stories from an era that seems very far away, printed in books and taught as history. She is history. She lived history. She has seen the world change in a drastic, upward curve of economy, technology and knowledge.

She grew up in a world without cars or electricity or running water. Her life was but a couple generations from being a true pioneer. It's fascinating, so fascinating to me I have considered writing her biography.

It could be a fear of living in the past that keeps her from reminiscing. People generally don't seem to find their lives to be interesting to others (I know... the irony of this journal with that statement). Memories aren't a big topic of conversation unless playing the remember when game. Since Grandma's life extends much farther than my own, there are many fewer mutual memories to share. I'm sure Grandma doesn't want to be interesting only because of days long gone either. She does live a very full life for her age and health limitations. I think it helps her feel better to be able to say she's still doing things.

She doesn't do near what she would like to do. She has a very hard time accepting the shortness of breath and tiredness caused by her weak heart, nearly 80 years used. So if I can help her feel important and loved by listening to her menu of the day and sleep schedule, I'll do it graciously. But that won't stop me from asking the occassional question about her childhood and everything up until my own memory can start filling in the gaps. And I won't call her during her favorite TV shows, because I do like listening to her talk, even if the talking gets to be a bit much.

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One Year Ago Today:

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