I made the call for the job interview and went this morning. It went well as far as I could tell.
John and his brother went to NYC yesterday to meet with the movie producer and some other people. I didn't expect him to call me unless he had news (meaning a check, which still hasn't materialized), but he called me yesterday afternoon just to let me know what was going on. He said they went to the Sirius radio studio and visited Maxim Radio, because he listens to their morning guys. They actually got on the radio. It pays to be from Pittsburgh when the Steelers are in the Super Bowl. They had just checked into their hotel (FIL went along with them and paid for them to stay at the Waldorf) when John called. I'm not sure what else they did, because I had to get off the phone quickly when my mom called.
I'm not sure whether it's good or bad that Mom wasn't calling to let me know Grandma finally died. Grandma is so close, and it's not like living any longer is a good thing. She can't even talk now. My mom wanted to give me a chance to talk to Grandma one more time while she was awake and aware. Grandma wasn't able to talk back, but I was able to tell her I was thinking about her and love her. I didn't talk to my mom much, because she was trying to call a few people, so they could talk to Grandma too.
Later in the evening, Mom called back and told me they turned off Grandma's pacemaker. She wasn't dependent on it, so she didn't die then, which is good for my mom. She was worried that she would be killing her mom by turning off the pacemaker. The hospice nurse was there and said Grandma has hours or days to live. It's always hard to say.
I break down every so often, but mostly I'm numb. I'm sure it's my mind's own defense mechanism. It's hard to believe I've gone through so much in the past few months. Any one of these things would be a lot to bear. Death is number one on the list of stressful things, and this will be the third one of those. Divorce and separation are number two on the list of stressful things. Fortunately, that looks to be on the mend, but it doesn't change the fact I had to go through it and still don't have John here permanently as a support system. If anyone believes God gives you only what you can handle should believe I'm unbelievably strong. I never thought I was as strong as I've found I have to be. If God has a plan for me, it's one heckuva plan!
So if I disappear again for a while, it's because I had to make my third trip to Nebraska in the past four months. After that, I hope I will only be talking about how great things between John and me are going.
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One Year Ago Today:
