It's not even noon, and I had my first good cry. That is not the start to a favorable day. John stayed home from work today, because we were up late last night arguing. But, and this will come as a shock, he's not the reason I was crying. I don't even think our previous argument and my sustained irritability with him made me extra sensitive. I would have broken down no matter what, because I received the third regret from Booie's birthday party this Friday. There has been one confirmation out of six girls invited. We picked the one week almost everyone is going out of town or having guests or whatever. I don't have high hopes for the two remaining girls either. I don't know why. I just don't.

Booie has never had a friend birthday party. She's had a giant family party every year of her life, but not one with friends from school. I thought about it almost every year, planned it in my head even, but never actually did it until now. The poor child is ten years old and hasn't had a real birthday party. That's reason enough to cry. The main reason a party has never come to pass is my crappy planning. I like to think it's because of vacations or busy weekends or money, but in the end it's because I never got my shit together. Not even for my sweet baby girl. Some years were legitimately busy, but not ten years.

Hammy's had a couple dud parties, and we live in a neighborhood of very active high-achievers. So summers for other people were super-busy too. His one successful birthday party was too successful. We way overinvited, assuming that, like in the past, there would be lots of regrets. There wasn't one. We had a house crammed full of kids--fifteen if I remember correctly. Hammy hasn't had a friend party since. I needed all this time to recover. I guess the key to attendance is to overinvite and then be prepared for the hoard.

I'm heartbroken over Booie's party though. She's taken it much better than I. I guess my warning in advance that summers are hard for people, prepared her well. It didn't prepare me. I didn't expect one out of six. Fifty percent maybe, but not that. Booie's a well-liked girl. She's went to parties for all the girls she invited, some several times. But people aren't going to reschedule summer vacations for us. I never realized the first week of August was so popular.

I told Booie she can have other sleepovers and host a Christmas gift exchange. It's not quite the same, but it's something to help take the sting out of this flop. And I will be sure to let her have another party next year. We'll try mid-July this time and send out invites a little earlier maybe. All I can do is try. She will get the best two-person birthday ever this Friday too.

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One Year Ago Today: