Hearts A-Flutter

I feel kind of silly taking this seriously at all, but whenever I say anything to anyone about it, they tell me, "You better see a doctor!" So I'm seeing a doctor late this afternoon, even though I think this is probably one of those things that just happens and means nothing at all.

I've had a very slight ache in my chest right where my heart is for months off and on. It's not constant or really painful. Sometimes I go for weeks without feeling a thing, and then I'll have it for a few days. My arm doesn't hurt like happens during heart attacks. I've even worked out while it feels like that without a problem. I just blew it off, thinking it was muscular or just something weird about me. My heartbeat always seemed perfectly fine, so I didn't bother having it checked.

Another thing that happens to me is my heart flutters or seems to skip a beat every once in a while. After reading about it though, I found this is perfectly normal and happens to everyone. Most of the time, people just don't notice. So again, I didn't bother having anything checked. This thing happened all my life, so it didn't seem important to ever mention.

This weekend, I was home alone on Friday night while John was out at a band gig. I put the kids in bed, and I planned to work out. While sitting on the couch, I felt like my heart just stopped, and I couldn't seem to get a breath. It was only a split second before I could feel my heart beating again, but instead of getting fast and fluttery like usual, it was very slow. I took my pulse. 57. My normal pulse during the day is anywhere between 75 and 80, and I take it for a full minute too just to be sure. I took it again a little later, and it was up to 62; still not normal for me. The stopped beat happened again while I was sitting there, and I began to get a little nervous. I thought about calling John or waking Hammy, but I decided not to worry anybody. I was fine after all.

I decided to work out anyway. Maybe this was completely stupid. I still don't know. I thought it would rev my heart up a little and maybe kick start it back to where it's supposed to be. I put the cordless phone right in front of me just in case and did a Basic Tae-Bo tape. I was fine. My heart rate didn't climb to its usual 170-175, but it did get within my target heart range at 156. I felt good, and I thought all was well.

I took a shower and then filled the tub with warm water so I could soak while reading for a while. I made another bad decision� to read The Mothman Prophecies while home alone. While in the tub, I had the same stopped heart/no breath feeling, so I decided to get out and just go to bed.

By this time it was late anyway, but there was no way in the world I was going to fall asleep with this goofy heart stuff going on and being scared that the freakin' Mothman was going to come and get me. That stuff happened in West Virginia, not all that far from Pittsburgh. And the book was naming places I know and kept talking about the Ohio River Valley, which begins right here in Pittsburgh. The darn movie was filmed nearby in Kittaning for goodness sake. It's like, right here. And even though I'm a big, mean skeptic, this book spooked me, especially when I was home alone and nervous from all that was happening with me.

So what did I do? I lay in bed and read some more! Nothing like continuing to creep yourself out to make your heart and nerves feel better. If nothing else, maybe it sped my heart rate up a little bit and helped me out. I read until I fell asleep on top of the book, but even then, I woke up often and was always thinking about big, red eyes and birdmen and other creepy shit from the book. It was miserable.

John came home sometime after 4 AM and scared the crap out of me when the garage door opener turned on. It's mounted right under our bedroom, and it's older than God, so it rattles, makes the whole room vibrate and causes a huge amount of noise. That's not so funny when you've been reading about people hearing strange sounds connected with these Mothman sightings. John was home though, and I was happy about that and slept well the rest of the night until 11 AM.

We had a birthday party to attend. I felt fine until we got there, and I had another little breath-catching episode. I was fine the rest of the time there, but I felt off the rest of the day. I was light-headed and sometimes a bit faint, and I realized I felt like that the day before too. I promised my inlaws I would see a doctor on Monday unless it got worse before then.

Later that day, I complained to John about how thirsty I was feeling the past couple days, even though I'd been drinking lots of water. Also, my left eye has been twitching for a week and driving me nuts and that day, my upper lip started twitching as well. I had a not-quite-a-headache on top of all that. I was falling apart! Then what do I read later that night? People who've had experiences like in this book often complained of headaches, muscle twitches and thirst. It was confirmed. I was having all this trouble because of the Mothman! The bastard.

So Sunday rolled around, and I lay in my pajamas all day long. I was super-tired and seemed to get out of breath whenever I did anything. Also, the ache in my chest returned. It sucked. I knew I'd keep my promise to see the doctor.

When I made the appointment this morning, I kept telling the receptionist that it wasn't a big deal, but I thought I'd better get it checked out. And this doctor's office where I can never, ever seem to get a same-day appointment gave me three different appointment times from which to choose. I guess they seem to take this heart stuff seriously too, huh? I don't know what they'll think when I tell them the Mothman is behind it all, and ask if there's some kind of insect repellant that will work for my problem. If only.

I'm quite certain I'm going to go in there and first agonize over how much I weight on the doctor's scale. Then I will get hooked up to some machine, so they can see what my heart is doing. It will be perfectly fine while I'm in there. They will send me home with instructions to "keep an eye on it" and to come back in if I still have problems, but I doubt they will find anything at all to explain what's happened or why. The Mothman seems as good an explanation to me as any, but I suppose that has yet to be seen.

I did finish that book on Sunday, by the way. The rest wasn't nearly as scary after the first third of it, or maybe it was just that I was home alone at night when I read that first third. It was interesting, though I tend to question a lot of that stuff. I have no doubts some strange things happened and that we don't have all the answers to everything. The thing I liked about the book was the author doesn't take the standard approach of explanation and actually questions popular belief on a lot of strange occurrences, but it's still all that paranormal stuff. I would like to see the movie. That kind of thing fascinates me, even though I'm skeptical. I have yet to see any strange lights, big birds or glowing red eyes. Personally, that's just fine with me too. It's the real stuff that scares me, like doctors and heart troubles and not knowing half of my family history. Nerve-wracking, indeed.