While taking a little break for lunch yesterday, I thought I'd browse through Yahoo! Health and found this article about how overweight kids deal with teasing, particularly during exercise. The article starts out by stating, "Not surprisingly, overweight kids who are teased while exercising are less likely than their untaunted peers to engage in and enjoy physical activity, according to new study findings." "Not surprisingly," indeed. More accurately, Well, duh! Here's another remarkable find, it happens with adults too. How about that?

It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to make fun of a fat person who is exercising. I know why it happens. Don't get me wrong. It can look pretty funny. Also, what better to make yourself feel superior than to make fun of someone else. At least you don't look like that. Fat jiggles and bounces in horribly unpredictable ways. It inhibits movement, so that fat girl can't really reach her toes. And what's more funny than all that huffing and puffing coming from a pudgy, red face, right? But there she is, doing something to better herself, and all you can do is laugh, point, and call names. Way to go.

Think it doesn't happen? Think again. I have first-hand experience while running around a nearby track with a team of baseball players in the middle of it, snickering and pointing fingers. A carload of men yelled "cow" and mooed as my best friend and I walked around her neighborhood. Those things didn't happen in a junior high gym with a bunch of pre-teens. Those people were full-grown, obviously insecure, adults. Can't have those fat girls losing weight and bringing themselves up to your level now, can you? Who would you make fun of then? I'm sure you'd find someone, but there's no need to let the riff raff get above themselves.

So why don't those fat people just get over it, right? I'll tell you why. It hurts. Maybe it just stings a little the first time, but the second time, it burns. By the third time, if she gets that far, it feels like a kick in the stomach. Many don't get past the first time, or even the fear of exposing themselves to a first time. Fat people are sensitive enough as it is. Who likes being called a cow? Who likes being laughed at? Who purposely exposes their vulnerabilities for public scrutiny? It's bad enough to be made the butt of jokes in everyday life. It's even worse when it took a whole hour to psyche herself up to put on exercise gear. It hurts. Not a little. A lot. We aren't ducks, and those mean words aren't water.

It's not OK to be fat, but it's not OK to lose weight either. If it's not strangers, it's the people we love bringing us down. Nobody really seems to want to see a fat person lose weight. You all say you do, but you don't. As long as I'm fat, I won't steal your boyfriend or get any of the attention you should be getting. If I lose weight, you might have to look a little deeper inside yourself. More likely, you just won't be my friend anymore.

Lots of times, other fat people don't even like to see fat people lose weight. We all want to be thin, but we don't want anyone else getting there first. If we succeed together, that's usually OK. But if you have more to lose than I do, I'm "just fine," and you'd be "happy to be where [I am]."

What it seems to come down to for me is life is a big competition in our society. We don't like anyone who's prettier, smarter, thinner, or who has more stuff, because we value all things material. We believe who we are is how we look and what we have. We want to be the best, but we can't all be the best, so we take each other down where we can. America, thy name is envy.

Despite all the patriotism and togetherness brought about by the terrorist attacks, I still see much of the every man for himself attitude. Americans are great about banding together when there's big trouble, but when it's just a matter of one person having a hard time of things, she should know better and fend for herself. I think we all need a little more of that thing called compassion. Team success is built with individuals supporting one another. Tired of all the bad press America gets for being a bunch of fatties? Say a kind word to the fat girl on her bike trying to do something about it. A little support goes a long way.

Before I wrap this up, I have to tell you what it was like to be the fattest adventure racer in the competition last year. I wasn't the most competitive, the fastest, or the most fit, but I had a boatload of determination. As I ran, biked, kayaked and climbed, I didn't hear one negative word. Not one. On the contrary, I heard tons of "Good job," "Hang in there," "You're doing great," and most important of all to me, someone told me to get right up when I fell down, so I could finish the race. And I did finish that race on a badly sprained ankle. We were the second to last team to finish, and it took more than five hours, but we finished. Lots of teams didn't finish, but we did, even with the fat girl on the team. Part of what kept me going was all the support I received. I did something great in part because of the fantastic, supportive community that is adventure racing. Ironically, I felt most comfortable amongst a slew of athletes.

Kindness doesn't just help fat people either. It helps everyone. Kindness doesn't have to be random or involve money. You don't have to pay the next five cars' tolls. Kindness can be something as simple as keeping that caustic remark to yourself. If you want to go a step further, tell the target of that remark something nice about her clothes, hair, shoes, or even that pretty, little hair clip. It's amazing how far one tiny complement can go in boosting someone's day. Complements get easier to give as you do it, and the selfish part of you feels pretty darn good when you do it too.

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One Year Ago Today:

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