I went to dinner at Kay's. She had another couple over too, and it was a really nice night. I was worried being with two married couples for an evening, but it was OK. I was able to forget about everything most of the night and have a good time. Kay and I talked for a while, and that helped too. We'll be able to do more tomorrow, and I look forward to that. I need more of that time. It's been such a hard week.

I'm still stung that I haven't gotten a call. I'll call tomorrow night. I know it's the usual busy weekend. I also know John moved stuff into his place--another step further away. I think that's part of why today has been so hard.

This is such a nightmare. I never feel fully here. My head is fuzzy inside. I can't concentrate. I'm dizzy sometimes. I feel sick half the day. I feel completely out of whack, like I've been drugged. Sometimes I think I had to have gone crazy. It's the only thing that could make sense of all this.

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One Year Ago Today: