I actually started feeling sick while shopping today. I was nauseous, lightheaded, and nearly overcome with exhaustion. Starvation sucks. I had coffee and a little bit (not even a quarter) of a tuna melt with a few fries at Steak 'n Shake for lunch before I felt sick from eating. Obviously, that wasn't enough. I often feel kind of crazy too. I know my brain is supposed to work better, but it just won't. It needs fuel. Since I've been back here though, it is harder to eat again. Too much stress and sadness.

Today is the first day since I've been back that I really felt motivated to get back to weight lifting and running. Ironic, considering how weak and malnourished I was (and am). I actually feel better about myself. For now. I've been here before, though that spark to accomplish something seems to be lighting again. I suspect I'll have lots more down days, but it's always good to feel like I'm worth something again. It helped that I tried on some clothes and am back in a size 12 for the first time in about three years. And I think I'll get nothing but smaller. And more toned, once I get back to weights and working out all the time.

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One Year Ago Today: