Some things just seem right... easy. You don't question what you're doing at all. You never notice when things are easy. It's the hard time, the indecision that's memorable.

I'm there now. Should I be glad John showed some emotion, even though it was bad and cruel? Or should I finally move on and make my own way? I recognize that was a critical moment in my life. I'm just not sure what to do about it. Where is clairvoyance when you need it?

I'm so indecisive right now. I can't even decide what to write. An appropriate end to this day.

My neck is still killing me. It served to start me off in a bad mood from the start, and it went downhill from there. And I thought yesterday was a waste. I did so much nothing today that the calcium chew I had was probably enough calories to make me put on weight. So that's two days of skipped exercise and one day of laundry and house cleaning gone. I have so much crap to do tomorrow. And I have to work. Too bad cutting my head off isn't an option.

I was supposed to come up with three specific things John could do to make things better. I didn't do that either. Even if I was productive today, I don't know that I would have finished that. I really have to think about it, something I've barely done. How am I going to narrow it down to three? That alone could take a week. But I'll manage it tomorrow. If I'm not too busy running off all the cake I ate, cleaning like a Tasmanian devil for the appraiser coming Tuesday, or washing clothes so I have socks and underwear. Everyone else has socks and underwear. Though shirts and pants are another story. I really better start doing lists again. I forgot to brush my teeth this morning. I'm such a mess.

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One Year Ago Today: