I need a break from my own drama today. Sometimes it's just hard to relive all of that, especially when I've been doing better than about what I'm writing.
Anyway, I'm finally learning to play the bass guitar. I've wanted to do it for years and years. Had I learned long, long ago, maybe I would have actually realized my dream of being in a band. I never had delusions of grandeur. I just wanted to play out for fun. And I know I still could, but at this point, that's far from what I'm thinking, especially with how I'm sounding thus far.
I asked John to bring his bass over before I even left for Christmas, but either he forgot, or I forgot to remind him or whatever, so I didn't get it until over a week ago. He showed me the basics, something he's shown me probably a couple years ago, but I never followed through. This time, I've practiced every day, and my achy, numb fingertips prove it. I've already improved considerably, though I have a very long way to go.
Teaching myself isn't the easiest thing in the world. I found a couple websites to help me. One in particular is what I've been doing every day. It helps that I'm already familiar with music, but I played treble clef. I'm not doing such a good job of knowing the note I may be playing is a C, not an A. And I'm really not doing such a good job of knowing what note I'm playing regardless. I just look at the note on the staff and pluck the corresponding string while holding the appropriate fret. I figure eventually, I'll know what I'm doing. Right now, it's just a matter of pushing those darn strings down hard enough and building up my finger strength.
Switching from a woodwind to a stringed instrument is really different too. You should have seen how excited I was when John told me a scale is the same no matter where I start it. I couldn't believe I wasn't going to have to remember each and every fingering the way I had to on the clarinet. Heck, I don't even really have to know what scale I'm playing to play it right. Of course, that won't help with the music theory, but the thrill of knowing I'm playing it right no matter what was quite exciting to me. Strings rock.
So this middle aged stay at home mom is learning to play a bass. I figure since school is out of the picture for a while, I might as well do something else I've thought about doing for a long time.
I'm finally losing all my extra weight with some help I never expected or wanted with John leaving me, but that's slowed down, and I'm starting to get back to doing it right. So that's another goal I'm achieving. I'm not terribly happy with the state of my boobs now, and my stomach doesn't look too hot either. Undergarments help those situations, but it's being naked that remains an issue. It's not so awful that I care to hide, but it's enough that I do what to do something about it.
Years ago, I asked John if he would buy me boobs if I got to my goal weight, and he told me he would if I wanted. Then I went on a kick where I didn't think I should have to alter myself in any way to be acceptable. Well, I've changed my stance again. It's not about how I appear to others but what I want for myself. I can't do a damn thing to make my boobs look right through diet or exercise, and after all the pain and work of getting to my goal, I want to have those right too. So I told him that regardless of what happens between us, I'm holding him to that, and he said he would do it. Of course, he asked if he still got to test them out (including beforehand on someone else if possible; something I wouldn't mind doing myself), and I told him only if he were committed to me. We'll see who gets to feel me up when the time comes.
I'm getting close to my goal weight. It's only twelve pounds away as of Sunday. I'm at the lowest weight I've been since before I had Booie over ten years ago. I won't get my reward right away, since that costs money too, and we have none thus far, but it will happen, just like school will happen.
If only I had gotten myself together years ago, but it's never too late, right?
---------------------------------------------
One Year Ago Today:
