So it's begun, and I find myself very, very sad. I am not totally against this war. I'm not totally for it either. I felt something like this was inevitable, but I don't think the US should have done it without seeking further world and UN support. Even if Bush proves himself in the end, which he has done to a point when Iraq used Scud missles, our country has lost a lot of support that I don't believe it had to lose. Saddam was not an immediate threat, and our actions could have waited a little longer.

I know all the arguments for the war. John spouts them almost daily. There is a reason he joined and served in the military. There was a reason I refused to date anyone who was in the military, but he didn't tell me he was until after he hooked me. Somehow, we overcome those differences better than some of our other ones.

John doesn't feel the same sadness I feel, even though he had friends in the military who are probably over there right now. For me, it's not just our troops but the Iraqi people that bring these feelings of sadness to me. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to live in fear of bombs. And even though the US is doing its best to minimize civilian casualties, they are going to happen. People that don't deserve to die are going to die, have already died, and I can't help but feel awful about that.

I've been told by many people that I have a big heart. Sometimes I think it's too big.

I'm not blaming our government for doing this. Like I said, I feel it was inevitable. Hussein never would have given up power, nor would he have given up building chemical and biological weapons or trying to build nuclear weapons. He wouldn't stop killing and oppressing his own people. I do believe something had to be done. Had he went into exile, had he cooperated with the UN, had he ceased his quest for power, this wouldn't have happened. The US isn't the one big, bad evil here.

So that's enough war talk from me. I don't have much to say that hasn't been said. As usual, I don't think my beliefs are controversial, so they won't make any real impact. As with most people though, the war's been on my mind.

In my own small part of the world, I still have traces of the damn cold I caught last week. I don't know if it was that or something else, but I was completely wiped out yesterday. I lay on the cough most of the day and slept half the afternoon away. I went to sleep again early in the evening and woke up exhausted. I feel better now, but that kind of tiredness just doesn't seem normal.

Of course, I don't want to go to the doctor. This is one of those things that seem pretty stupid to tell a doctor, and I really don't want to do it. If it were an isolated incident, I wouldn't even think about it, but this is happening once or twice a month. I thought it was my period for a long time, but as I started keeping track of when it happened, it did not coincide with my cycle. John suggested nutrition, but I've been eating very well this week, making sure I get plenty of protein and iron. So I'm going to give it another month, and then I might think about giving the old MD a call, as much as I hate doing that.

Booie is going camping with her Brownie troop this weekend. It's her first camping trip ever. She's pretty excited about it, and I think I'm a little excited for her. We're going shopping for a few supplies after she gets home from school.

Hammy plans on going ice skating again this week with a couple friends. He went last week and came home so tired that he was dragging all weekend long. Three hours of skating will do that to you, but it was funny to see. He can use the exercise. I told him if he goes every week, he won't be so tired, so now I'm out $10 a week so he can go. I don't know why I open my big mouth.

John and I have an annual dinner for his dad's Alumni association. It's a really fun night with giveaways and one big lottery type thing that is the highlight of the evening. I don't typically like Bingo or lotteries or anything like that, but this is a fun time, and we look forward to it every year.

I guess the house won't be getting cleaned with all this stuff to do. It's an embarrassment right now though. I'll have to do a little something.

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