I feel awful. I did very close to nothing all day. I had a good plan. I didn't do it. I am my greatest problem.
But tomorrow is another day, and I will redeem myself. Continue to claw my way out of the depths to which I've sunk. Reclaim the girl who used to look forward to eacy day. One... little... piece... at a... time.
I noticed I feel the urge to leave. I wanted to believe when I moved out here I wasn't running away from my problems. But now I see I was, because I want to do it again. Some of the problems are the same, but there are new ones too, to replace those I actually did escape through mileage.
I could leave again, but I feel obligated to stay, not only because of my responsibilities to others, but because I have to resolve these things. They will chase me everywhere if I don't.
My complete standsill today was a form of running away. I sleep to escape. I watch TV. I work, well, not work, busy myself on the computer. I read. I eat. I even write here. All to avoid my problems, my responsibilities, my fears. I'm getting pretty tired of running.
God, I hate this.
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One Year Ago Today: