I hesitated to use that title, because it's another slam on myself, and I'm trying to get away from that. But it's how I've felt the past coupld days, and I don't think I'm doing myself any favors by not admitting it.

I thought John being gone would be good for me. I was actually looking forward to it, even though I knew some things would be harder. I got only three hours sleep the first night which set me up for a bad first day. I sat around a lot, watching TV until the kids got hom. No exercise, no weights, no cleaning. I told myself it was OK because I was tired.

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One Year Ago Today: