Pumpkin Head

There is something about John being home that keeps me away from the computer. It could be the fact that he's on it so much. He's always willing to give it up, but I really hate asking. It brings up a lot of issues that I really should let die.

Communication has been especially bad the past couple days. The stress of the holidays coupled with little time and lack of money only make a tenuous situation worse. I am doing my best at not arguing and am avoiding complete blow-outs. At a time when the focus is on gratitude, I am finding myself a bit lonely and sad.

It's not that I haven't had fabulous things happen. My mother-in-law cashed in her frequent flyer miles to get me a plane ticket to Nebraska at Christmas-time. That quite simply rocks! I talked with my parents on the phone yesterday. I also didn't eat myself into a coma. But I did feel neglected by John, and the imbalance in our relationship and different viewpoints on life have become a bit glaring the past couple days. Add to that the mistake of trying on pants at the store today, and you have a teary mess trying to keep the crease between my brows from growing any deeper.

All this, and I also have to deal with guilt. Not only did John find a sitter so I could go to the gig last week, he also managed to find one when a last minute gig came up Wednesday night, and I'm going to the show tonight because he arranged a sitter for that as well. He's doing exactly what I asked him to do there. Unfortunately, that doesn't keep me company.

I have managed to keep up with the decluttering work. Now if I can figure out a way to apply this level of commitment to losing weight and getting more fit.

Yesterday I got rid of:

All our Alka Seltzer since it has that bad stuff in it

Today I got rid of:

What once was a bag of ice that turned into a block
Fork that I hate because it was from J's previous marriage