I'm trying to decide if it's just me. If my depression is tainting my perception. But I keep coming back to the facts. He spends more time playing games or doing things on the computer than he spends with me or the kids. He doesn't talk to me at all except about the band or American Idol. He won't even answer me when I ask him questions, giving me meaningless answers. I feel like he's trying to torment me, drive me away. I'm so angry about being ignored, neglected, and demeaned. It's hard not to be depressed when I'm in a relationship that isn't.

Right now, I'm almost indifferent, not quite, but almost. I'm considering my options, weighing out what's best for me, not letting all the hurt and anger control me anymore. When I try to look at my situation objectively, I start looking at finances, my marketability, moving. All of those are very difficult hurdles.

More thoughts:

• Even your hands are fat.

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One Year Ago Today: