I'm making a lot of mistakes for being wide awake. Hopefully I will remember not to play racing games before bed anymore. I get way too worked up from all the wrecking and bad driving I do. And then there is the irritation that a game controllower is not very similar to a real car. But only a real car would feel like a real car, now wouldn't it?
I was feeling quite crummy this evening up until about 9:00. After hogging down 1/2 a bag of movie popcorn (Yes, with butter. I did say "hogging.") my stomach stopped feeling bleh. I never felt like throwing up, just peripherally naseous, which is the best way I can find to describe it. Pre-nausea? Shadow nausea? I don't know for sure. Whatever I call it, it sucked. I had a sorta headache to go with it. I think it's best to say I was just generally messed-up-like. I kept thinking, If this gets much worse, I'm going to end up in the ER." Then I start wondering where I draw the line between going or not... how bad I'd really have to get and if I'd put it off for too long. Or maybe it already had been too long, and I was going to collapse in Best Buy while waiting forever for the sales guy who was too busy helping the people who were certainly not going to buy a plasma screen TV tonight. I mean, who couldn't see that? They were far too indecisive to make a $4000 decision in the half hour until closing, while we just needed the guy to haul his overly hopeful butt up the ladder to get our $450 sure-thing if I didn't die first.
What was my point anyway? I guess I just hope I feel better tomorrow and then get really yucky in time for the doctor on Monday. Really yucky would be good, because then I wouldn't end up telling the doc how "fine" I am. I know I'm not the only one to do that either--visit the doctor only to answer "fine" to everyone who asks, "How are you?" But then doctors and nurses just shouldn't ask such a Pavlovian question. Someone can sit through my hypchondriac list only to ask me how I am and have me answer, "Fine. How are you?" It's sadly reassuring to know I'm an idiot among many. Though I have found I do not ask that question much at all anymore since its fall into the rhetorical category.
I'm really going off on some tangents. Must be effects of racing in circles. Or could be that I'm tired at 1:30 in the morning.
11:30 a.m. - Sundays Imagined and Real
I feel pretty darn well this morning. I'll probably feel great tomorrow just in time for the doctor. I just need a standing appointment that I keep if I'm actually sick.
I should probably quit listening to music, so I can write. I don't have a playlist for songs without lyrics. I'm have to make one for occasions like these.
2:44 p.m. - Journal Magnetism
I came here before to do something while John putzed on the computer. Sure enough, he follows me. I'm happy that he wonders where I am, but I wish he'd do it when I disappear to do other things. Or to do nothing. I want compnay when I'm cooking dinner, not when I'm thinking and writing.
I'm getting tired now. It's that time of day. I really don't want to go anywhere, but it's important to John I go to this cancer research benefit where his band is performing. All the incarnations of Superstar Jones are going to play too. John's cousin and godson's band will play a bit too. I'd like to see all of it, but I get so tired that I won't enjoy it as much as if I felt better. It's too late for a nap too, and my hair is still wet and face is still naked. It would be good to put on a shirt too.
I weighed myself even though I didn't really want to. I'm down a pound and up a body fat percentage. I think next week will show the real results of all my cookie-eating and lack of exercise. It always seems to take a week.
I'm tentative about starting anything again with how I felt. Seems exercising is a sure way to wear myself down. I always seem to have to rest a week after a week or two of exercising. I'll go ahead and try again tomorrow. If it is a pattern I should find out for sure.
Maybe I'll make some more coffee. Who knows how crappy or old the restaurant coffee will be. I'd rather not chance it. I have to get up to get ready anyway. I thought I'd bring this with me. I may not use it, but it would be there if I want. Time to scare off Asia with the hair dryer.
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One Year Ago Today:
