Cleaned. All. Day. There's another heating and cooling person coming this evening, and after the humiliation I suffered as the first guy crawled over a sofa pillow with cat barf on it lying on top of a throw rug the cats were using for a litter box on the laundry room floor (did I not tell you my cats are the most vile creatures on Earth?) to get to the furnace and then had to weave throw various piles of mess to get from the laundry room to the garage where he tripped over a box of patio furniture (still unassembled, purchased two weeks ago) to get to the fuse box, I felt I better do something. So something I did. And our house looks the better for it, but there are two cats and one child on my shit list right now, and I have said variations of the word "fuck" (outside of child hearing range) more times than a whole season of the Osbournes. The only reason the other child isn't on the list is because he helped. He worked his ass to the bone, so he avoids my wrath. This time. And the husband doesn't get any wrath because he came home and praised me to the heavens for all the work I did, and then offered to get whatever I wanted for dinner, so he gets brownie points instead of wrath. The dog doesn't shit and piss and barf all over everything in the house, so she escapes too, though she's shedding enough to make me consider having her stuffed too. And I could even use her very own fur to do it!

I'm pretty disgusting now. It wasn't too hot today, so I didn't sweat all that badly. Still, you can't do all that I did and not get a little stinky, especially when you're cleaning up the hazardous waste I had to handle.

Speaking of hazardous waste, Asia was locked in Booie's room one day. Of course, it was during that time, he needed to take a dump, so he did it on Boo's bed. Why do cats always choose the bed on which to poop? They like to lie on the bed all the time, so why on Earth would they want to poop there too? I know, you see cats lying in their litter boxes all the time at the pet store, but that's the pet store. It sucks there, so why not wallow in filth? But in your nice, comfy home, whyever would you choose to crap in the very place you like to nap? It makes absolutely no sense to me.

Where was I? Oh yes... so Asia poops on the bed, and John cleans it up, or at least he thinks he does. He left a turd. One lonely little cat turd. This turd caused a screaming fit when Booie went to clean her room and found said turd, petrified on the floor under a thousand pounds of dirty clothing. She came to the laundry room, where I was waiting for said dirty clothing, to tell me Daddy did not clean up all of the cat poop. Like I'm supposed to come up there and do it. I told her to get a paper towel and do it herself. She comes back down about twenty minutes later (I'd stopped waiting for the clothing and started cleaning up some other things) to tell me she threw up. Threw up. She was so grossed out by this miniscule turd that she threw up! I lost it. Unfortunately, that which I lost was my temper, so rather than laughing, which I probably would have done had I not been cleaning up filth for hours already, I yelled at her to get back up there and clean the turd and the barf.

Once all was cleaned, we had a talk about psyching oneself out and prissiness. I asked her how it was that she could go to the bathroom and not wash her hands without projectile consequence while picking up a hard, little cat log caused spewage. She sobbed, "I don't know." I asked how it was she could scratch her ass and not wash her hands without barfing. Again, "I don't know." I went on to ask how she can do other vile things without getting sick, all of which merited the same, teary, "I don't know." Then she wailed, "I'm a prriiiisssss!" Clearly, the poop, the barfing, the cleaning, the other disgusting habits made much less an impression on her than being called a priss. It was the prissiness that hurt. Finally, I laughed and told her prissiness was a choice, and she didn't have to be a priss if she didn't want to be. That seemed to work, and the poo and the barf all got cleaned without my having to do it.

So maybe it wasn't such an awful day, but I'll wait for a full judgment after I get this quote for how much our new furnace and AC will be.

---------------------------------------------