I'm Always Waiting for Something

Whether it's waiting on my husband or waiting for my body to suddenly decide to be skinny, I am the queen of waiting. I wait for everything. Sometimes waiting can't be helped, but other times, waiting is just another word for procrastination, like waiting for the laundry to do itself. I'm waiting on that right now too.

I'm also waiting for my hair to dry. It's not that I really want to let it air dry. I just don't feel like getting off my lazy ass to go dry it. It's probably better for it that it air dries. It's a big, frizzy mess lately, because I've been overprocessing the living hell out of it, but air drying will not look good. And I have to go out today, so I will have to overprocess my hair some more to look presentable. If I sit here long enough, do you think my hair would style itself? I didn't think so.

I can't wait too long for the whole hair thing, because it won't be long before I won't be waiting for John to get home anymore. He's at one of his myriad doctor's appointments since having his physical and finding out he's falling apart. Today he's seeing some "specialist" for his malabsorption problem. He doesn't even know what this specialist is. Me? I would have asked what the hell this doctor would be doing to me, who he was, and what kind of specialist he is. John just assumes this guy is going to stick something up his butt and doesn't ask questions. I know if I thought a doctor was going to stick something up my butt, I'd be asking a whole lot of questions, but not John. I don't get that man sometimes.

Maybe he was right about the whole butt thing, because his appointment was at 8:50 AM, and it's almost two hours later. I would suspect there are other tests to be done though. I don't know what you can find out about malabsorption by checking someone's butt. It seems like it would be a little late by the time it got to that point. It seems the upper digestive tract would be much more suitable for checking as well as the blood. But then again, what comes out the back end probably has a lot to do with it too. I don't think I could poop under scrutiny. Or maybe I could if not pooping under scrutiny meant obtaining a sample at home. Good God!

I better move onto another subject. This is getting nasty. I think I just tainted my whole day. But speaking of poop�

The dog crapped on the carpet again the other day while Hammy was "watching " her. John and I were in the bedroom (being lazy slobs, nothing fun), and Hammy had let the dog out in the living room with him, promising to keep a good eye on her. My definition of good eye is obviously different than his though. Since the dog went behind the table to poop almost right by the door, she was out of his line of sight. Good eye to him must not include anything out of his vision. For me, it means to know where the damn dog is at all times and to know what she's doing too. So my shampooed carpet has now been officially dirtied in the worst possible way. The most that had happened before that was Hammy spewing orange pop out of his mouth when I made him laugh by saying, of all things, "poop" for the sole purpose of making him laugh. That one was my fault. Paybacks are a bitch indeed.

Now that I've gotten all the poop stories out of my system, I need to quit waiting for things to get done. At this rate, it will be dinnertime before my hair dries. The laundry doesn't seem to be doing itself either. I have to make a delivery today too, and as much as I would like to just hire a courier to do it for me, I'm too broke right now. That means I'm already waiting for payday, and it's still fifteen days away. Have I mentioned how much being paid once a month blows? That's something I have to wait for, unlike all these other things. I sure wish it was the other way around, but I better not wait on that. Hell just might freeze over first.