I'm having a typical weekday. This is my exciting life.

7:00AM - John tells me I have ten minutes. Grunt and try to go back to sleep but can't really sleep because worried I'll sleep in.

7:10AM - John tells me to get up and hounds me until I drag my tired ass out of bed. You see, he needs me to use the bathroom so he can take his shower because he's just as much a lazy ass as I am and won't get up early so he won't be in everyone's way by hogging the bathroom.

7:12AM - Get Booie up by curling up next to her in her bed and allowing myself to evolve a bit further. Usually, I go wake Hammy up first, but he has trombone lessons early on Mondays, so he was already up and curled up on the couch under a blanket, dressed and ready to go.

7:13AM - Booie and I get out of her bed, and I ask her what she wants to eat. Frankenberry. She's not much of an early riser either, but she's always in a good mood when she gets up. She tells me how she had Booberry yesterday, so today she's having Frankenberry. Gag. There is nothing more unappetizing to me than dehydrated marshmallows. Fish out a pair of underwear for Boo out of the laundry basket of whites that's been sitting in my room since Friday.

7:15AM - Get Booie's cereal and a cup of milk. She eats her cereal dry and drinks her milk. Spot the granola bars I bought this weekend and get excited that something actually sounds edible to me in the morning. Don't even make my usual coffee.

7:17AM - Play some Solitaire and eat my granola bar and manage to write a check for Hammy's lunch this week. It's a wonder I can spell my name already, much less add up how much to write the check for.

7:18AM - Think I should get dressed and take the dog out, but keep playing Solitaire and listen to Boo tell me how to cut out the picture frame and the mask on the Frankenberry box.

7:22AM - Win my game of Solitaire. Now $43 richer.

7:30AM - Booie is done eating and needs some clothes. Get her outfit together and go downstairs to bring up the load of laundry that's been sitting on top of the dryer for four days, which includes the tights Booie needs.

7:32AM - Hammy says goodbye. Make sure he has his new trombone lesson book. He tells me how the kids in middle school don't need books. Forget to check him over to make sure he doesn't have crud on his teeth and crust in his eyes. Tell him goodbye and send him out the door.

7:34AM - Put Boo's tights on and tell her to brush her teeth and get her shoes on. Think about getting dressed myself and taking the dog out. John says goodbye.

7:38AM -It's time to get dressed. Look at my hair and decide it's a hat day. Put on workout clothes because I'm going to walk the dog and Tae-Bo this morning.

7:42AM - Feed the cats, so they will quit bugging the hell out of me.

7:45AM - Boo tells me she's ready and already has her jacket and backpack on. We have 25 minutes until she has to leave. We take the dog out together.

7:48AM - Feed the dog and give her water. We practice waiting. She does great. Good dog! She inhales her food.

7:49AM - Remember I haven't packed Boo's snack and dig through the Target bag with the applesauce I bought in it. I got that on Thursday. It's still sitting in the bag with the Halloween candy we keep eating.

7:51AM - Pack Boo's snack and brush her hair. We watch the clock. Booie tells me things I won't remember.

7:53AM - Decide I could go ahead and vacuum, so the floor is ready for me to work out when I come back. Realize the belt needs changed in the vacuum cleaner. Dig belt out. Put some attachments away that have been out for several weeks. Pry open vacuum cleaner and get grossed out by all the dust and dirt and hair. Clean out dust and dirt and hair. Boo sneezes. Watch clock. Decide to finish when I get back.

8:07AM - Get keys. Shut doors. Dog goes in kennel without being told. Good dog! Shut kennel. Get dog a treat for being such a good dog. Think she missed her chance, because I was going to let her stay out today.

8:11AM - Leave to take Boo to school. Go to corner where we meet neighbor. Neighbor tells us girls are sick, so we go it alone.

8:13AM - Force a smile for crossing guard who is always way too chipper. Trudge up hill and ask L if she wants to be walked up the stairs. Pray she will be brave. Get told she won't. Understand.

8:15AM - Greet next, less chipper crossing guard. Be thankful not everyone is happy to be up in the morning.

8:19AM - Reach top of stairs, gasping for air. Ask Boo if she can walk around the school herself. She agrees. Yes! Give her kiss and watch her walk away. Notice Hammy didn't wash his face. Hug him and discreetly tell him to get the crust out of his eye. Think I'm a crappy mom. Head for home.

8:23AM - Talk with crossing guard #2 about Target. Try to convince her it's the best store on the planet. Wish I could leave. She finally says, "See you later." Don't think I convinced her. Walk down hill.

8:27AM - See neighbor waiting for bus. Think about saying hi, but he's not looking my way. Decide will say hi if he sees me. Think I'm a crappy neighbor.

8:28AM - Wave at crossing guard #1 who is talking to the unfriendly man who comes to talk to her every morning. Be thankful she has someone to talk to.

8:30AM - Walk up to house and hear dog howling. Tell dog to cut it out. Walk in and let dog out. Try to make coffee. Think I should work out.

8:31AM - Dig under cabinet for coffee filters. Swear about throwing things under cabinet rather than keeping them straightened up.

8:32AM - Find filters. Make coffee. Think I should work out. Sit at computer and read online journals.

8:51AM - Need coffee. Dog visits. Pet dog. Dog puts front paws on lap and cuddles. Love dog. Good dog! Think I should work out.

8:54AM - Pour coffee. Go back to computer. Play Solitaire again. Lose $245. Think I should work out.

9:05AM - Get call from Daisy leader. Agree to come help at meeting since neighbor who was going to help has sick kids. Think I have to take shower today.

9:06AM - Dog needs to go out again. Take dog out. Think I should work out.

9:10AM - Think I should work out. Read more online journals. Waste time on Internet. Drink coffee.

9:21 AM - Decide to do lame journal entry rather than work out. Work on journal entry. Realize Hammy left way too early for trombone lesson. Think I'm a crappy mom.

Don't you wish you were me?