It's my anniversary. I knew it was coming, and I know it's on June 12, but for some reason, it just didn't dawn on me that it was today until yesterday at the end of the work day when I was writing the date down on a patient note. My face must have just dropped off, because both the patient and my boss asked what was wrong immediately. I'm an idiot; that's what's wrong.

You know I don't have a gift or a card or anything. I do have a good excuse in that I was sick and not couldn't prepare so well. But I've been well enough to go to work, so I really should have managed to get my ass to the store and buy at least a card. We're poor until tomorrow, but I think I could have scrounged up five bucks to buy a nice card. No, it's not too late, and I will go out and get one before John gets home from work today, but that doesn't prevent me from feeling like a complete heel for not being prepared. I'm more like the stereotypical, forgetful man than my husband.

So it's been nine years since I married John, and I can honestly say I am happy I did. I haven't always been able to say that throughout our marriage, but loads of counseling and hard work have helped us both remember what made us sign that certificate. In fact, I think I love him more than ever before, something else I couldn't always say.

I haven't talked about counseling very much anymore, but we do still go. I didn't go for about three weeks when I wasn't feeling so hot, but I went again this week. Instead of talking about my in-laws the whole time, which has had its use, we actually talked about our relationship. It's been going well for near three months now. We talk more; John pays more attention to me and the kids; and I speak up before I get too angry about things. Are we cured? No. I don't think couples are ever cured or healed or whatever term you want to use. We are better, and we're both willing to work on this. I think that's what makes success. So we are a success, but the work will never really be done. It should get easier, but there will always be work to do.

How do you celebrate this accomplishment? In January, I was contemplating whether I had to live in an empty marriage or do what was previously unthinkable to me and leave. Now I look forward to spending a lifetime with John. It doesn't seem like there is any way to truly celebrate that. Being together, loving each other, putting forth the effort to make this work, those things continuing over many more years are about the only way to acknowledge how great this is. I love him, and I'm in love with him.

If only I could convince him that that is why I didn't get a card. "Honey, no simple card would do." While that may be true, sometimes it's the simple things that make a person feel loved more than grand gestures. Love isn't always immense and indescribable. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's small and simple too.

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