I doubt you even think of me anymore. A commonality of past relationships. Always me that leaves in the first place, only to be plagued by the decision. Never forgetting. If only the foresight were as good as the hind.

I wonder what you're doing, if you're happy. I hope you are. As much as I might regret running away and hurting you, I never wish for you to be stuck as I am. You deserve better. I do too, but I hope you found it. I hope you are drawing and living all those dreams you once shared with me.

It might not be that every awful thing you may have wished upon me came true, but karma has paid me many visits. I still live with my decision today. And I was changed by it. I choes a path, and that path brought me to where I am today.

I don't think you would like me much now. I already know you hate my car. My lifestyle is plain, suburban, static. Though the same pasions burn in my heart, the same motivation does not drive them. And there are new passions that pull my heart in too many directions. I am diffused, compromised, in some ways, defeated.

But you stayed true, and I admire that, as I've always admired you. I've romanticized you too, though that was never hard to do. YOu were too much for me. I was the tainted soul, and I suffer it still. This is my struggle. Maybe I'd have conquered it had I been strong enough to hold on. Or maybe you would have forged ahead to leave me behind anyway. You always had your purpose. I wish my own was so clear.

So yes, I am thinking of you this day when it should be the man I married who fills my heart. He is in it, but he's just there. You... well, you're still there too.

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